…and all parties are better for it.
When things hit the fan, who can put them all back into place better than You? I think I got the message.
Don’t let my pride get in the way of Your best. We all need humbling experiences, even if they hurt a little {or a lot}. When the Big O catches wind, I ask that he be understanding. You know I’d love to be forgiven what I did, but Xavier didn’t seem willing to me.
I pray that You would keep growing me into good relationships with the people that belong in my life, letting me remember the blessings they have all been. God, show me where the hard ones are blessings. My head gets tough, I know.
God, help me with the violent streak thats been hitting me lately. I can’t seem to get past it, and today was proof that it’s not going anywhere on it’s own. The Statement’s getting old. It’s really not funny anymore. I can’t change without Your help. There is no excuse. Although I’ve pretty much ruined any chance of You using me here, I plead forgiveness and healing.
Is it this hard for everyone that takes the Walk? Do others just hide it better? I try to trust You, and end up ripping out of Your hands the very things I just claimed to release to You. It’s hard, Lord. I wonder why You evr called me to believe, yet I have no doubt You’re here.
The Queen lost control, and the jester took the crown, only to realize that he had taken the place a little too well. When the King came back, the Idiot decided the conditions of his station weren’t conducive to his lifestyle, and left promptly. The Queen covered her bruises as if nothing ever happened, moved to the River, and refused to trust the King again.
Maybe it could be a series…
Filed under: Letters to God
Thank You, Lord, that everything is in the open. Though probably not the best for relationships, I’m sure there’s a reason. Funny how it always happens in groups. Even funnier how predictably.
Filed under: Plans
Stow or sell stuff.-06/30
Get boxes and pack.-07/15
Leave. Undetermined 08/15-12/10
Yay, Meatloaf! How’s the world today? God, I’m trying to be patient, and it’s hard. You are good, and I’ll wait for You. I feel cranky, and have for a few days. It’s not the loss of the car, nor the dating thing, the roommate things, or the Jeremy thing. He was actually quite nice to me today, though. I’m tired, and I’m actually glad to not have my car, because I’d probably just hit the bar, and shortly after, be meeting You face to face.
You always said You’d be here, and I trust You on that. How You could forgive me is still a mystery, but I’m trying to believe it. It’s hard, and I’m angry at myself for being so weak. I guess I thought that facing sexual temptation would be easier after 6 years without the slightest hint, but here I am.
I feel so guilty and disgusting, but I know that’s not how You see me. You are healing me and working in my heart, and I pray for Your strength. It’s time to get to work on this.
