Filed under: Uncategorized
Our pastor is now sleeping better.
I am getting adjusted to the new life and doing better with my schedule.
Eveything around me suggests change, although I'm not sure of the direction. Anticipation keeps me awake, but peaceful.
Filed under: Uncategorized
…and the beginning. House-sitting for friends. It’s been a busy week, just starting the new job and trying to get situated. God has blessed mee with some great relationships and hopefully, they’ll stick. I won’t be able to attend my church for awhile, as they decided not to give me weekends off after all. At least I have Fridays. So, as I go thru these times, I pray for strength. I know what it’s like to get away from church for too long, and I don’t want that. I still attend the prayer meetings and some gatherings. I pray for our pastor, as he is not getting enough rest right now. That’s about it for now.
God, help me to be the friend I need to be. Show me how to give my all for your glory.
Bless the Boggs in their retirement years. Thank you for their blessings on our nation.
Thank you for the survival of the Gardners. Let them find the right transportation.
Thank you for Gretchen, Lord, I really enjoyed her company last week. Help her to be a badge of honor.
Thank you for the Olivers. Let Lucky and Amanda raise this, their firstborn, in your service.
Thank you for the techies, Brandon and Laura.
Thank you, especially, for the House, for being great hosts and leaders.
Thank you, God, that I am not ashamed to be honest, but delight in Truth and love.
Thank you, Lord, for Bruce. Please provide more opportunities for us to spend time together and show him what he means to You.
Thank you for your son, the Ultimate sacrifice, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Thank you for Mark, for everything he is and what he’s trying to be.
Thank you for the Dunns, what great servant-leaders!
God, thank you for employment and intermediary cash.
Thank you for the blessing of Christi and Justin, and the worship team.
Thank you for the Graham crackers and Delta for providing me food and shelter for two weeks. A kind of working vacation from Camp Lozano. May the transition be seamless.
God, thank you for all of these peole you have put in my life. Bless theirs as they have blessed mine.
Reach your hand out to those who don’t know you, strengthen your flock, and let us joyfully serve you.
When things go wrong, when they don't go as planned, when everything in life is hard to understand. When you can't seem to find the light, when everything's so dark, when the spark is gone and the tunnel black, you can't seem to find your way back. you turn around and see a dim glimmer. It's then that you realize you're standing on tracks and the light, well honey, it's a train. The funny thing is, you're just too tired. Too much running in your own way, not heeding the warnings, taking it as it comes, serving no purpose. So tired, yet not wanting to lose, not wanting to submit to another's plan. What if it doesn't work? What if I am scorned? What if I get lost again? Is this way working? Do I have the strength to continue on this path? I could get off the track…Oh, no the train!! It's passed? Yes, it's passed, and with it the storm. What is this peace that I've never had before? Could it be you, my Lord? Thank you, God for everything you have blessed me with.
Divine intervention is a wonderful thing. Now, for the hazy days. As far as I remember I got a lot of sun, cuz it hurts. I painted a lot of faces Saturday, and helped start a fence. At church, our whole class seemed totally uncooperative, but we got through it. After that, we put the pickets on the fence, and had Chinese food and some drinks. I found it interesting that when people do something for free, they think workmanship is not important. This saddens me, but I let it go to God.
Surprisingly, I've given a lot of time to thinking about the future and my friendships. Sometimes, it just means more to hang out than talking on the phone. Sometimes, wasting time is not a waste. Sometimes, scheduling wastes time. All the time God is in control.
I have been surrounded more and more by kids, and I came to the realization that if i never get married and never have kids, that the world would not end. It's become like an actual possiblity that maybe I could do better with the kids I have a part in if I'm not distracted. Of course, thisw doesn't make the want any less. I was told on Sunday that in China, it's illegal to adopt your children out, so they just abandon them. I was told of an 8-year old deaf/mute dumped at a train station and I just couldn't hold in the anger and frustration. My son would've been 8 in October, and I don't know why I lost him. I look at my oldst niece, and the emotion becomes overwhelming.
There's so much I want to say, but I have run out of time. Pray for healing in my life. Pray for my friend Bruce, who is going thru a hard time. Pray for God's blessings in our city, state, country, and world. God strengthen those who serve you to always be faithful in a dark world.
Filed under: Love
After the hula hoops, breakfast, and the park, we come back home.
As the days get shorter and shorter, I don't feel any more motivated to clean. Though I do feel much better since starting chiropractic care, I still need more energy to be productive. How important is housework? The bathroom's clean.Sortof. I remember trying to get things together to please Martha, then not doing it to spite her, and now since it makes no difference, I seem to get more done. The trick is doing it in your own time.
With Body Worlds coming up, I may just use it as an incentive to get my room clean. God's hand is so heavy in my life. I'll be working at a day labor place afew days a next week, to help me get up early for the academy. Who knew 4 am came so early? Starting to remember working overnights.AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
As I see it, I may be moving out by mid-month. SWEET! A birthday/Housewarming party.Yeah. Maybe not.I don't wanna clean. Guess I'l get started here soon.
On the whole guy/girl front, oy. Why is it that coupled people cannot fathom being apart from the other half? And, in that, why in the world do they think I would want that restriction. I think about everyone, not just obsess about one person. It's one thing to love someone, and I understand that, but isn't it just weird to say you couldn't live without them? How did you live before them?
I would love to have a relationship that's so free that you just don't have that insanity of "Where you at?" syndrome. I would think if it's grounded enoough, you would pretty much be told what's on the agenda for the week and when you get to see each other. Ok, I think I'm ranted out. All this over being set up. Maybe I'm just upset that I dug my own grave. God bless.
Filed under: Love
Do I really have to say it ALL the time? I was so blown away this week about how, hmm, let's say distant I have been to everyone. I'm not much for excuses, so I'll just clear my head.
First, my nieces. As much as they probably keep me from doing stuff I need to do, I don't spend much quality time with them. Most people see fit to tell me tha they're not my kids, so I shouldn't worry about it. Total crap!! Luckily, I don't see them much anymore. I had the chance to take them somewhere and play escort. Literally. They're all about the fairy tales, so my car is now a princess chariot.
My sisters, well I missed the biggest bash of the season, apparently. Missed is an operative word. Some kind of festival in Montgomery. Really though, I miss my family. I finally talked to my mom and dad,, who are equally happy to know that I'm not gonna live in a shelter. My oldest sister and I just, well we're different. My youngest sister is who I would be, had things gone differently growing up. I'm glad to see her happy.
One thing that seems to run in our family is for the women to depend on the men for everything, having no identity of their own, and blindly agreeing with them on everything. I believe in love. I'm not so calloused as to think that it's impossible to agree on stuff. But on everything? Right.
On another note, Mark asked me to watch a movie with him, which is monumental, as he never invites anyone female to do anything. He actually said the words "spend some time together" which totally weirded me out. Sometimes, it seems we are related. It's nice that we can be so close, and have no issues about the past. And yet, no chemistry. He's an awesome guy, and I'm glad there's nothing there, cuz, yeah, no. nuff said.
I was asked what's wrong with my friends that, for the most part, they're guys and I haven't been on what I would call a date since moving here. What an odd thing to ask someone. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of my friends. Just, I guess that maybe there's not enough to hold a stronger relationship together. The last guy I was involved with was mybest friend at that time. We were friends for awhile before we actually went there, stayed together 4years, and that's it. There was really no substance to the relationship. I'm a James Lipton, and as far as I know, he's a Barbara Walters. It has nothing to do with male or female, just personality.
And what's wrong with rushing it? If it ends, it ends. Just sooner rather than later.What does rushing it mean, anyway? I'll have to continue later, as the girls have broken out the hula hoops, and it's breakfast time.
